I’d like to be a one direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home. She realizes she's pregnant, and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feelling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father1"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree which would hit the ground first?
the apple, because the rope caught the emo kid
why did the emo kid try high five the tree
so it can hang him
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers. But there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them. Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that too. After a few hours, he gets the tux. That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
IVE HEARD STORIES OF MY MOTHER SHE WAS A TEENAGER AND LEFT ME IN THE BLENDER BUT LUCKILY THE POWER CUT OUT LIKE AT THE ORPAHNAGE
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers??
Suicide Squad
What do you call an orphan when there 18
Homeless
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree
To bad he left him hanging
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.
... I guess her rubber broke too
Lynx. For that cheap teenage smell, of desperation
god: why is the teenager so short angle: I don't know God: I said strong as a bear angle: no you said ass hair god: no I didn't
So i saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, what are you doing?
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: that sounds pretty SIMPle.
What's great about an emo pizza? It cuts its self yay
Like if you are in high school and miss school
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female if you did not like it when you was a teenager you probably will not like it when you become a adult
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.
Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let’s stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let’s stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.
Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up
via GIPHY
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?
A: In their flowerbed
Q: Why was the show bad at gymnastics?
A: She was a flip-flop
Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt
Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?
A: A rainbow
Q: Where does a sink go dancing?
A: The Dish-co
Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?
A: Knight time.
Q: Why did the Genie get mad?
A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.
Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?
A: A bun.
Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
A: Hip hop.
Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?
A: Shop ‘til they hop.
via GIPHY
Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?
A: She nailed it.
Q: What is corn’s favorite music?
A: Pop.
Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?
A: It’s a weak day.
Q: Why was the politician out of breath?
A: He was running for office.
Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?
A: Goooooooooooold!
Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?
A: He was a cheetah.
Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?
A: Inside.
Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?
A: He forgot his lawsuit.
Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?
A: He crashed the computer
via GIPHY
Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
A: An eyeball.
Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
A: Shells.
Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?
A: In the fall.
Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
A: Because he knew he would pass.
Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?
A: Because it was flat.
Q: Why didn’t the farmer's son study medicine?
A: Because he wanted to go into a different field?
Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi
Q: Why was the princess in the emergency r
