Talkie jokes

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?

Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.

What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?

What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.

Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.

Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?

Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:

Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”