Boi you can't be talking because it someone punched you in the face you will be the one to apologize
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
why cant dinosaurs talk?
cause there dead
Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
What do you get if you talk to a down syndrome face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
Two guys were walking down the street and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any Blond in the world into giving him a Blowjob, any Blond! So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said alright let's see it! The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, Hi my names Dave and my Doctor just told me that if I didn't get a Blowjob from a Blond within three hours that the disease I have will kill me in 'oh less see now 22 minutes! She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says pull it out! 10 minutes later the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out! So he walks over to her and says I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friends life?! So she looks up him just crying her eyes out even worse and says" I could have saved my dad!"
a guy saw a person with a duck and said "where did you get a pig" the owner replied "its not a pig dummy" the random guy said "i wasn't talking to you,i was talking to the duck"
A dog talks to a other dog and say Wow your a Hotdog
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
I talk to your doctor he said you wasn’t going make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon
My friend talking to fat boi : I can order you at McDonalds’. Double Big Mac triple quarter pounder cheese burger
Knock knock!! Whos there?? Dishwasher!! Dishwasher who?? Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in
What did the sunglasses say to the banana 🍌? Nothing sunglasses can’t talk
Why did you say hi? Baby’s don’t talk
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool
My teacher started talking about houses then I said I don't want that informansion.
two muffins are in an oven one muffin says few its hot in here the other muffin says OMG A TALKING MUFFIN
A father is talking to his three kids Kid 1: why is my name rose Dad:Because when you were a kid a rose fell on your head Kid 2: why is my name lily Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh Dad:oh hey Brick
If u r talking to Indian and noticed a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what u said... They r recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
