If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
