SOS jokes

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.

At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.

Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.

You're so weak, someone breathed on you and you flew away!

Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”

The day I saw people asking Lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like: wait, so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I am high and so are you.

You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.

Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."

You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.

Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.

Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.

Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.

Older boy: UNO reverse card!