SOS jokes

Why was the fanny flat?

So it can flop about.

A nut told me to eat him, so I did, but something weird happened. I turned into a nut, and when I poop, there were eggs there.

Yo momma's so ugly Thanos had to snap twice.

You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."

We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.

I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.

Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.

I miss school so much.

Friend, your mum's fat.

Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.

So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"

Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

Please take this down, it's not funny at all!

It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!

You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"

Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.

One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.