SOS jokes

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a giant spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.

"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."

Yo mama so hot that even Sodapop Curtis flirts with her.

Yo mama is so evil that Dallas Winston fell in love with her.

Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."

Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

Your hairline is so far back it looks like it got smacked up by Will Smith.

Why do high tides come up so high?

Because they come up to say hi.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!