SOS jokes

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!

Rob: .....BECKY :3

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!

The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.

Yo mama so fat even Dora can't explore it.

Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!

One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.

(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)

What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

Scientist time travels into the year 2024.

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he gets to call someone father.