during the great war:
*a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.* He says:"You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *he didn't stop firing*
why are we still fighting in darkness
mission failed soldier we will get em next time
i swear in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers cant even win a war, might as well send all your school shooters over there
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
my grandpa killed 100 german soldiers he was the worst german piolet ever
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during world war two. He was an officer. Me: Cool, what rank of officer? Jim: SS. Me: ...
my grandpa's last words were before died in vietnam was what fuck did i step on..........
what do you call a person who died in war? Little Johnny.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!" Soldier: "Let's clear the field!" Officer: "Ok!" *silence*
*explosion*
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of. You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious he ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over they asked what happened and the German soldier said hail hit her
People are fighting in a war and a man gets hit 4 times in the arm and says "Tis a Scratch" And the other guy looking at him in shock says "A Scratch, Your Arm is off your body!!"
Kid says “are u a soldier”? Soldier says “mhm” kid says “i wanna be a soldier some day” soldier says “really”? The kid says “ye but, father says i don’t have the balls to be a soldier” “but he’s right ima FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
*Ring Ring!* Who’s there? Soldier! Soldier who? You’ve soldier house! Congrats! waHt
Going in a military The last thing I heard from them is:"Goodbye"
Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people.(on fortnite)
Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
