Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.