Sniff jokes

What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?

A sniff beat.

Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.

Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).

Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.

Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.

Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.

Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.

MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.

LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.

Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.

Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.

Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣

You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂

"(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:

......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....

STUMP: TEENY DICK

BUMP: TINY TIT

GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE

LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED

UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

RUMP: AN ASS

DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --

JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!

.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............

(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')

"OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"

(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."