Slang jokes
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
What do you call a dirty Mexican?
A chulo.
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
I went to the market to get eggs, and my sister thought that I meant my balls.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? A small skin flute.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.