I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
Shes Jokes
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the roof of a Walmart, it lowered the prices.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit on the rainbow.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
Yo momma so fat, she farts out volcanoes.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
