Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Yo mama so fat she can’t even fit in the suitcase
What was the last thing to go through princess Diana’s head before she died? The steering wheel
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don’t care if she has one
Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!
So a lady came up to me today at the bank and she asked me to check her Balance so I pushed her over
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
