She jokes
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.
Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”
Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."