Messi shiquito...
2 sentence horror story’s go
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair. The man who controls the chair asks for any last words. The prisoner reply’s with: “Can you hold my hand?”
I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life
A woman once false accused me for rape and I was sent to life sentence prison. PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
The kid with a gun walked into my class room and fucking shot the teacher. He pointed the gun at me and asked,
"What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey at least he gets free food.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich
Jane ate her friend’s colon
its kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence oh wait you only said three words
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents. Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour. Judge: But why? Accused: Because I’m an orphan. 🥱🫤
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL" .He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
If I was a judge and gave you a sentence I would sentence you to life for your looks
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Sister: I dont want to do it butt...... Me: no more butts, butts are to yuck to be in this sentence
What does your head come out of... YOUR brain 👁👄👁 👀 👅
im a human
is google male or female female bausecuase it doenst let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word bank in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word Bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting
10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya
12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented
whats a dead persons favorite sentence**?I made it
