Scare

Scare jokes

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A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.

A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!

Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."

What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?

Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D

  • 1

    • I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.

    A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

    If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?

    Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?

    Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."

    Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.

    We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.

    But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?

    Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).

    So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

    Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

    Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

    Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.

  • 7

    • A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

    The little boy says, "I'm scared."

    The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"