Scare jokes
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
What's a gay guy should be scared of?
A straight gay!
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
You, I didn’t see you there. The pizza place is hunted bad, so you are scared 😱😱😱😱 and so you run and you see your grandma, and you were happy again forever and ever ha ha so funny 😁. The end or is it bye-bye?
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office? Only one of them is scared.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.