Save money jokes

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.

Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.