Save money jokes

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.

Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)

If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

money + money = MONEY

Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.