Restaurant

Restaurant Jokes

Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

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I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?

Because they don't have a family to go with.