Restaurant jokes
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
What happened to the woman who slipped in a seafood restaurant?
Um...I don't know what?
She slipped on a mussel!
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
How was your day, Freshfry?
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!