First Date: HE:"i work with animals every day!" SHE:"oh how sweet! what is it that you do?" HE:"I'm a butcher" SHE:"were through!"
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
I have an account at the website Memedroid.
My name is J0K35FromWJE.
Feel free to follow me, and I WILL upload to Memedroid (I might not upload daily).
I will still make jokes here jlyk (just letting you know).
Ok here's your joke now...
What did one pizza say to the other when they were in bed?
"Can I have a pizza that ass?"
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
