What do Macdonalds and Priests both do? They both put their meat between 10 year old buns
a girl and a boy were on a date, the boy kept farting. the girl asked, What Is Wrong?!?!the boy replied, "explosive diareah." the girl said ew.
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. the center of the explosion, the bathroom.
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her and the owner made her leave.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
why should you never give else a balloon? cause she will let it go
What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken Have in common? By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
The other day my wife said "take me someplace I have never been before, I said why don't you try the kitchen! "
Q: what is the difference between a pizza and a baby? A: the pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
Ever tried Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
Just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Taco Bell going out of business
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
Q: What is a Mexicans favorite restaurant??
A: On the border
Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.
What did the plate say to the other plate ?? Lunch is on me😂😂
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to burry them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat though.”
i like my women like i like my steak... bloody
Me: have you ever tried african food
You: no
Me: they haven't either
