I told a joke and some1 said "no one asked" then i said "no one would care to even ask"
Hey guys, its Hailey here.
Ima start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake. We can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, You won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
The 911 people really dint scramble fast enough so they got folded like and omelet
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing? Me: Sure.. ( Expecting a completely different response than what I get. ) Sister: Nvm, they have no difference. Me: * Confused * Sister: They're both horrible.
One day I went to talk to my friend. "Hi John!" I said. No response. "Oh yea." I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button. "Hope that helps."
Everybody asks "Whats up" but nobody asks "Whats down"
A DEPRESSED GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS "CAN I GET SHOT".THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "YOU MEAN CAN YOU GET A SHOT RIGHT?THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "WELL..........WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?THE DEPRESSED THEN RESPONDS WITH A "NO I REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT.
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 woman what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said how the fuck did you get in here? 😂😂😂
Say Hey your pretty then she'll say omg thank you so much or something cringe then you say pretty f ing ugly aha gottie
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them just answer the phone and say "Pizza Hut abortion clinic where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She tort them all to pull out on time.
why cant you say hi to a drug addict?They'll say yea
Comebacks when someone say Bully: Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic. Say: At least its brighter than your future
Credit x/@jesopa
My friend said to me that I am gay my response I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night
I saw a little boy sitting ona curb wearing rags. i said: "aww are you an Orphan?" And he responded with "Yea. What gave me away?" And i said: "Your parents."
Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
This homeless lady called me ugly so I told her “ok then imma just go on home”
