Reptile jokes
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
I like turtles.