Repair Shop jokes

What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.