Repair Shop jokes
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?