New Remembering Jokes - Page 2

How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed but I remembered you were adopted...

You got no lotion to musterbate,,,..then you remember there's some left over porridge in the fridge 😌🤎😇

Knock knock who’s there Candace Candace who Candace be true you don’t remember me

Remember kids, if your in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH

Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible

If you ever tought you are gay,remember that Cock roaches exists.

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents? My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that son.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

You have a problem with jokes about dementia? Thats funny, I don't remember asking.

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Nether does he

“Remember switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Remember the name Ben Andrews

if someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, your the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person

Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.

Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, „Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?“ Jon said, „I’d be half blind.“ „That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?“ „I’d be completely blind.“ The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.

On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, „What would happen if I cut off one ear?“ Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, „I’d be half blind.“ The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. „What if I cut off the other ear?“ „I’d be completely blind,“ Amanpreet answered. „Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?“ „My hat would fall down over my eyes.“