Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
Remembering Jokes
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Remember the name Ben Andrews.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
