Quickest Jokes

My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

Who are the quickest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 34 stories in 4 seconds.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.

MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"

Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"