Programming jokes
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
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I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.
Baby > commits start breathing.
Mom > commits abort.
Baby > commits ohshit.exe
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
with (DYM 130).
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100010 01111001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110101 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101001 01110100 01110011 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 00111111 00100000 01000100 01100001 01110100 01100001 00101110
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
Yo mama so fat she is the Google JavaScript loading.
This isn't a joke.
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!