pre-order jokes

Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.

Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.

Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

My dad coming back.

Mom: Daddy, stop!

Me: No!

Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.