Police Investigation jokes

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.

But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.

Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?

A: He got shot.

What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?

Jack in a box.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.