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Friend

  • My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

  • 2
  • Michael Jackson

  • What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.

  • 2
  • Singing

  • Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

    Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

    Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

    Me: *Confused*

    Sister: They're both horrible.

    Orphan

  • The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

    Documentary

  • We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

    I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.