Plastic

Plastic jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.

As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?

A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!