New Pedophille Jokes - Page 2

What does a pedophile call an orphanage?

A supermarket.

Why do pedophiles always lose a race?

Because they come in a little behind.

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?

2) Where did all the orphans go?

PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!

My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.

If you hate pedophiles, grow up.

What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?

Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.

Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.

What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?

A Minor.

Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?

Free delivery.

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.