Pedophille jokes

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?

They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.

What’s one good thing about a pedophile?

They drive slow in school zones.

What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?

White Vans!

What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.

What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

He said he was awfully touched!

What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?

White vans.

Why do a pedophile love Halloween?

Free delivery.

What do pedophiles do when they wake up?

Turn on the child safety lock on the car.

What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.

Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.

How do pedophiles follow the law?

They drive it slow in the school zone.

What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?

Shooting up schoolchildren.

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I know a pedophile,

And he says he knows you.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.

What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?

Alien vs. Predator.

See you later, crocodile.

In a while, pedophile.

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.