What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Pedophille Jokes
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
