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An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...