Paralysis jokes
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
Why does everyone think Stephen Hawking is drunk?
Because he can't even walk.
At least Stephen Hawking could go on a pub crawl.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
There may be hope for Stephen Hawking yet.
His nose runs.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
Why are batteries quicker than Stephen Hawking?
Because they can run out.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."