Out jokes

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

Why are grapes never alone?

Because they hang out in a bunch!

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

I took my mother-in-law out today...

I love being a sniper.

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

Prince, please talk to me for real...

Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

How can you find out how old a cabbage is?

By looking at its cabbAGE.

Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?

Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.

Why was the washing machine laughing?

It was taking the piss out of the knickers!

"Out of the way, I need to Caterpie."

Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.