What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What music does a balloon listen to?
Pop music.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
