What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What music does a balloon listen to?
Pop music.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
