Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
What is brown and extremely sticky.......A stick
I see some objects over there... oh never mind, that's a woman.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Q: Whats brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
Playing a game called 7-up. Student- why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers? Teacher- it's cheating! Student- No! it's the object of the game.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.
What objects have the most gravitational force. A lambo and a gold digger
If I had a dollar for every gender, i would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
