Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
If I was an object in this world, Iβd be a glass! Because if you leave me when Iβm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What music does a balloon listen to?
Pop music.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole π.
Whatβs the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesnβt fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
