No jokes
My friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: No.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because you are a joke.
Friend: Your life is too...
Me: :)
Friends :)
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Wow, no SP jokes?
Memes
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
I'm all panic and no disco.
What do you call a ball with no hair? A Mexican ball.
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have nowhere to run home.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
What do you call a person with no body or a nose?
Nobody knows.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)