New Nine Jokes

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash? about nine months and a day

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.

What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.

Every body knows the joke why was 6 afraid of 7 because seven ate nine but why was 10 scared... because he was wright in the middle of 9 11

Ddi you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana? It had nine shots and seven chasers!

A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.

"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

My wife cheated on me with my brother.

She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.

I got a ps5 for my nine year old sister. At the time I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore

A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.

The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”

“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”

“Ten,” says the doctor.

“What, years? Months?!”

“Nine...”

How many beans are there in Irish Chili?? A: 239 Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine? A: ( spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more it'd be two farty. ..lol