A man gats kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon" next to all of the chalk outlines
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where i should put my pants. "next to mine" was not the answer i was expecting
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection"... But she did.
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say "You're next". So I started poking them at funerals and saying "You're next" to my friends.
Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
The Women saw a Cute lookin cop she Had pulled up right Next to him and said “Hey can i get your number” He said yea it’s “911”. And drove of
why did the chicken cross the road?
the chicken next to him farted.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
