Neighbourhood

Neighbourhood jokes

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Pedophile

  • Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.

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    Stalking

  • I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

    I saw it through my telescope last night.

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  • House

  • Police: Where do you live?

    Me: With my parents.

    Police: Where do your parents live?

    Me: With me.

    Police: Where do you all live?

    Me: Together.

    Police: Where is your house?

    Me: Next to my neighbor.

    Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?

    Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.

    Police: Tell me.

    Me: Next to my house.

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  • Door

  • So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.

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    Blonde

  • Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

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