Musician

Musician Jokes

Hit

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a mathematician?

To count his STACKS of CASH.

Rapper

What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?

"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"

Saxophone

Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.

He is now playing the whore-monica.

Difference

What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.

Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."

Hit

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

Kanye West

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

Empathy

What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?

A robot can feign empathy.

Jack

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?

Jacks and 5.

Pronoun

What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?

“He/he.”

Death

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

Saxophone

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

Guy

Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.