Musician jokes
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."