Mom's jokes
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
Ur mom gay, lol.
Ur mom.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
Your mom gay.
Ur mom gei.
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"
"Baking a cake."
The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.
"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have no friends :'(
Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....