Miss me jokes

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

My ex-wife still misses me...

BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!

My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!

My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving...

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

My wife still misses me...

But her aim is getting better!

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

What's up, bitches? Miss me?

My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

Parents: Let's have a bonfire.

Me: Let's go to the orphanage.

Parents: To bring other children?

Me: No, to have the fire.

Parents: Won't they be missed?

Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.

Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...

My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!

I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.