Microwave

Microwave Jokes

Why did the rapper become an electrician?

Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs aren’t. I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately... but I hope it’s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

1 like = 1 more child in my fryer 13 0 1

t thelittletimmy6 days ago 1 like = 1 more child in my blender 82 5 11

a andrewgrayson5 days ago Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is Randy. 27 1 3

M MedievalJoker22 hours ago in America Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?!? 4 0 0

h heeeieo3sxedcv bnm10 hours ago When you call the middle eastern suicide hotline they ask you if you can fly a plane. 3 0 2

The Legend1 day ago Do trees shit?

Well, how else would we get #2 pencils? 5 0 0

Staniel13 hours ago A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive." 3 0 2

Staniel14 hours ago Why did the sperm cross the road ———— because I put on the wrong sock today 3 0 0

TheForeverVirgin5 days ago 1 like=1 more orphan I dropkick 28 2 5

Anonymous1 day ago Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :) 4 0 0

Anonymous7 hours ago in Orphan what makes an orphan jump? A Bridge 2 0 1

G Goofy ah11 hours ago I. Have no dad no milk and no mom so that means no tits like if u can relate 2 0 1

A Alastor Already From Hell14 hours ago What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?

Nothing, their both dead, one painted the walls and the other commuted suicide by pressing ALT + F4 2 0 0

C COLINGAMING2000915 hours ago A funny joke

knock knock "Whose there" who "who who" Ha who who you sound like an owl "fuck you" 3 1 1

Sandwichtheif16 hours ago Why can’t orphans play baseball?

He can’t find home 2 0 0

Cal3y3 days ago 1 like= 1 more child in my basement 9 2 0

Anonymous5 days ago in Orphan What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt me. 15 1 1

e easports3 days ago 1 like= 1 kids in the bed with me 8 2 3

Z Za_gotjokesss4 days ago My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt 7 0 0

G Goofy ah2 days ago +1 like=1 kid in my basment +1 comment =1 kid in my microwave +1 share =1 kid in my blender 3 0 14

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+1 like=1 kid in my basment +1 comment =1 kid in my microwave +1 share =1 kid in my blender

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl? The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhoea when you pull your meat out

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person. So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks? That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.