I have a brother and he told me this quote no wonder they had a second child they messed up on the first one“ he’s the second child... I’m the first...
Why did the guy take a bath cuz he cum and it was too mess
My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch
The twin towers are like water bottles
it's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess
Papyrus:You are so lazy sans! Sans:Call me what you want.I got THICK SKIN! Pap:Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!! Frisk:HAHAHA Pap:we are monsters.The awfulest kind! Sans:to mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
a skeleton walk into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me and if you try to insult me i have thick skin.
Q: why did Sally drop her ice cream? A: she go hit by a bus.
So I am an emo dude so I sit in the back of the class and I talk to no one.But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me so I just ignored him.Then he got really pissed off and said “I’m gonna kill you”.I was like “Your gonna kill me just because I ignored you, is your ego that big, wow.”He left then the next day he brought his goons with him and said “now your dead” I ignored him again and he said “you will pay for this.”So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house then him and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died so I kept on walking.I had some rope traps set.This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emo’s.We have ropes everywhere.
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
So there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here so take your drink, mates and fuck off." He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense." replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, He's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!". He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink he opens with, "Say aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
I left my dog at home once and when I came home it was a mess, lets say I was in a RUFF situation
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
Fuck you people who made the those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)
