Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A survey asking how likely someone is to recommend Windows 10 to a friend or colleague with a scale from 1 to 5. The explanation provided below states that people don't usually recommend operating systems randomly in conversations. Below the survey is written: "THIS IS NOT TRUE. Have you ever seen a linux user?"

DAP ME UP

All these new people need a warm welcome so lets dap them up

An illustration with a yellow emoji with a gold tooth and a sly expression next to a yellow hand in a position to give a 'dap'.

Anonymous

Right, the bit as the bottom... i mean, look i keep myslef open on systems to rule empires and shit should i ever need to be it.

A drawing of a hydra with multiple heads. The text on the image reads: "Hydra System. The Hydra is simple, every 2 represents a 1. When a head is cut, its twin must lead the next 2 novice heads. This means when every weak point is exercised the weak spot is a new offense. The perfect system."

Nintendo Fan

A person is sitting on a white inflatable pool toy in a puddle in front of a shop, with the text: "When you need a holiday but your budget is quite limited."

MEME LORD

I need a female to fart in my mouth -
m4w - 34 (Detroit)
age: 34
I want a big beautiful black lady here in
Detroit to fart in my mouth with gas. I just
want you to get on the couch and bend over so
I can open my mouth wrap my lips around
your asshole. I need you to fart loud and long
filling up my mouth, while I mastubate.

rapboat

The image shows a screenshot of a song by Ken Carson called "i need u." The lyrics are shown with the first part "Where your racks go?" and the second part "Oh, you spent it on hoes, money, drugs, and clothes." with red circles around both parts.

sonicjokesmemesandposts

if i had 8 good women what does that mean

A screenshot of a text explaining a calculation. The text states that, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and according to Lil Wayne, bitches are cheap. The text calculates that, therefore, one good girl is worth $8.33. It refers to this as a 'basic equation substitution method' and 'could be a SAT question'

Adolf Nigler

Michelle Obama wanted more vegetables in school.

The image shows a split view. On the left, there's a portrait of a young man with glasses. On the right is a blurry image of a classroom, with a person visible in the background. Below, text reads, "Georgia School Shooter Targets Special Needs Class, Autistic Teen Among Victims".

Heroin Monkey

The meme consists of four panels. In the first panel, Mr. Krabs has a standard appearance and is speaking to Squidward. The text reads, "Look Mr. Squidward! I Paid Plankton to give me Hormonal Treatment!" In the second panel, Mr. Krabs has large breasts and is speaking. The text reads, "Now I don't need to buy food!! I can just live off mi own Milk!!" In the third panel, Mr. Krabs is slurping milk from his own breast. The text reads, "MMMMM MMMM 'Slurrpp' T...Tastes like Crab, Mhmm." In the fourth panel, Squidward looks disgusted.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife

Heroin Monkey

The image is a screenshot of a chat. It shows a person, presumably Travis Scott, with a McDonald's flag in the background saying he needs 2000 dollars to get back to America and asks to send it through paypal. The next message questions his identity to which he responds with "Fin fin fin fin fin".

Heroin Monkey

An older man with white hair and glasses wearing a red sweater is holding cards and looking down in a classroom. He has a white bag with the text "recycle me" next to him. In the foreground, a paper on a desk reads "Nobody likes you -R". In the background, a few students are sitting at desks.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of two Instagram posts. The first post, from user fatgirlhedonist, says "Idk who needs to hear this, but I switched from buying coffee every day to making it at home 2 years ago and I'm still not a millionaire." The second post, from user brianmstewart, is pinned and replies "I have studied the habits of millionaires. While it is a good step to save money by making coffee at home, have you considered supplementing your income by committing massive fraud?"

Remington

these two definitely look the same

A meme featuring a scene from "The Office" where Pam is holding two pictures and says, "Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture. They're the same picture."

tabs1528

A multi-panel comic shows a group of men discussing an Overwatch hero, followed by a panel of the hamster character, and a final panel of the men looking shocked. The text in the first panel says: "Ok, we need to make an Overwatch hero people won't use as porn material." The text in the second panel says "Perfect!". The last panel contains the text "10 Seconds Later".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a headline from an Op-Ed piece with a picture of an old wooden cabin and a man with a white beard. The text reads: "Op-Ed: Today's Youth Simply Don't Have The Work Ethic To Build The Gulags Needed For Their Communist Ideals."

Anonymous

The meme shows two images. The top image is of a woman with a thoughtful expression and the text "I wonder if he's thinking about me." The bottom image shows a man running in a wooded area, with the text "I need to reach that tree before that car, or I'll die."

Ogga🤫🧏‍♀️

Gordon really should get on my grandma’s level🤌

The image shows a split screen from "The Office". Two hands are holding up pieces of paper. The left paper says "Gordon Ramsey", the right paper says "Someone's grandma". Underneath, Pam is shown at her desk. There are white subtitles, saying "Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture." Then, also at the bottom of the image, it says "everyone" and "They're the same picture."

Ogga🤫🧏‍♀️

True 🤫🧏‍♀️

Two white cards are held up. One reads "professional cook," and the other reads "grandma." Below is a subtitle: "Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture." The bottom image shows a woman with the subtitle "everyone" and the sentence "They're the same picture."

MEME LORD

A yellow emoji with wide eyes, exaggerated eyelashes, and a large, open mouth is holding a fist to its mouth. The text above reads, "Love, that's not the coughing emoji. Edited to add: as of this morning (1st April), Tanunda is now doing a drive through. You can just explain your symptoms, and drive through and get tested - no appointment needed for this. As for the walk in clinic at the back of the hospital - this is STILL operating and STILL requires you to make an appointment. Thanks everyone! Hi everyone. A member wanted me to update you on the Corona Virus Health Testing Station set up at Tanunda Hospital. Please don't just roll up, as y..."

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