Worst Jokes Ever

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Willy b

A picture of Charlie Harper from the TV show Two and a Half Men sitting on a couch. The text on the image says, "Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better be safe than sober" - Charlie Harper

Tsukuyomi

Caylez.cc, you need to stop

A person wearing a mask and helmet holds a spoon. The text reads, "I have a spoon, your argument is invalid."

Rey Rey

Evil Duck Lords Of America

A chat between a duck and a human. The duck says "Quack". The human states: "I don't know why I added you." Then they state: "You're a duck. I'm a human. Our love is forbidden." And the duck states: "Shh... don't make this any harder than it needs to be."

Adolf kitler

A cat with wide eyes is looking at the camera. Above the cat is written: "NO NEED TO SHOWER." Below the cat: "I BATHED YOU IN YOUR SLEEP."

Evil Duck Lords Of America

Like for bonuses if you are following me and you have the best explanation

A man covered in mud is carrying a muddy dog on his shoulders. The dog has something in its mouth. The text overlay says, "Here's a story that needs to be told...."

Adolf kitler

A person is sitting at a desk with their back to the camera. A cat is draped over their shoulders. The text above the image reads, "cats are smart, independent creatures that don't need a lot of attention" my cat:

Why should you care

this is why we need to kill all of the birds because the birds are giving the government pictures for the cloning

A baby looks shocked, while text above says 'HOLY CRAP' and text below says 'I'VE BEEN CLONED!'

Why should you care

Truly are

A set of translucent red and white dice with the title "The Cursed dice" above. The text describes the strange properties of cursed dice, including their unnatural glow, and their ability to roll specific numbers on command.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a phone screen displaying a text conversation. The first message reads "FBI Agent: Do it bro". Followed by the user: "My dog just ran away", "Yah" and "I still have a boyfriend". In between, the FBI agent texts "I'm so sorry to hear that" and "I'm here if you need anything". The last message by the user reads "And I still have my dog."

Heroin Monkey

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a mockup of a WhatsApp chat interface with Friedrich Engels' picture on the right. The WhatsApp screen shows a conversation with Karl Marx repeatedly messaging "I NEED money". The text above reads "WHAT IF FRIEDRICH ENGELS HAD WHATSAPP" with laughing emojis next to it.

Heroin Monkey

A survey asking how likely someone is to recommend Windows 10 to a friend or colleague with a scale from 1 to 5. The explanation provided below states that people don't usually recommend operating systems randomly in conversations. Below the survey is written: "THIS IS NOT TRUE. Have you ever seen a linux user?"

DAP ME UP

All these new people need a warm welcome so lets dap them up

An illustration with a yellow emoji with a gold tooth and a sly expression next to a yellow hand in a position to give a 'dap'.

Just Blach

Right, the bit as the bottom... i mean, look i keep myslef open on systems to rule empires and shit should i ever need to be it.

A drawing of a hydra with multiple heads. The text on the image reads: "Hydra System. The Hydra is simple, every 2 represents a 1. When a head is cut, its twin must lead the next 2 novice heads. This means when every weak point is exercised the weak spot is a new offense. The perfect system."

Nintendo Fan

A person is sitting on a white inflatable pool toy in a puddle in front of a shop, with the text: "When you need a holiday but your budget is quite limited."

MEME LORD

I need a female to fart in my mouth -
m4w - 34 (Detroit)
age: 34
I want a big beautiful black lady here in
Detroit to fart in my mouth with gas. I just
want you to get on the couch and bend over so
I can open my mouth wrap my lips around
your asshole. I need you to fart loud and long
filling up my mouth, while I mastubate.

RapBoat

The image shows a screenshot of a song by Ken Carson called "i need u." The lyrics are shown with the first part "Where your racks go?" and the second part "Oh, you spent it on hoes, money, drugs, and clothes." with red circles around both parts.

sonicjokesmemesandposts

if i had 8 good women what does that mean

A screenshot of a text explaining a calculation. The text states that, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and according to Lil Wayne, bitches are cheap. The text calculates that, therefore, one good girl is worth $8.33. It refers to this as a 'basic equation substitution method' and 'could be a SAT question'

Adolf Nigler

Michelle Obama wanted more vegetables in school.

The image shows a split view. On the left, there's a portrait of a young man with glasses. On the right is a blurry image of a classroom, with a person visible in the background. Below, text reads, "Georgia School Shooter Targets Special Needs Class, Autistic Teen Among Victims".

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