Meal jokes

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

It's easy to roast beef.