Loss jokes
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
"Daddy's Home."
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."
"No, not until their parents pick them up."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. 😢
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
What is an orphan's favorite website? Zillow.
Why do orphans not like the iPhone 11 Pro?
A: Because it doesn't have a home button.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
What do you call an orphan?
An orphan.
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Most likely because they can't find home.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.